Influenced by "Rang De Basanti"

Suddenly, I remebered the days some years before when I was in Nepal. The political situation of Nepal at that time was very unconditional. Political Parties were on strieke of the then government directly ruled by King. Situations were being more critical and in the mean time "Rang De Basanti" produced n acted by Aamir Khan was released in Bollywood. As far I know Nepal is one of the good market for Bollywood Film Industries.

"Rang De Basanti" was released in such time when the political situation of Nepal was like as shown in the Film. Actors of the film were like youngsters of Nepal. If you have to change the society, you must start within yourself.

It was around 12 o'clock in the mid-night when me and my friend finished the movie and we were in our bed. Suddenly, Roshan asked, "Bibek, are you asleep?", I answered," No, I am not".
Lets go and kill Kamal Thapa ( Home Minister of that time ). I was surprised and laughed at him. He told the movie is really meaningful. Let's be Dj (aamir khan ) of that movie who really taught the meaning of struggle. Oh my god ! He is really influenced by the movie and the movie worth it.Then, I believed yup the movies really influence people and resemble our practical life.

Thanks to Aamir Khan for making such a influencing movie.

My Strange Dream last night..

It is said,

Dreams are reflection of what we think,

But yesterday night's dream it was strange.

I was on a high stage,

and me delighted n praised..

Thousand of people were listening me

Some were sitting, some standing and some on their knee

A speech, I was giving

And it was about Global Warming.

I defined them what is it and what it has?

told them caused due to increment in "Anthropogenic Greenhouse Gas"

Sea levels increasing day by day

We, ourself are doing delay..

To save our earth and our life

And to continue our generations alive.

Suddenly, My mobile rang aloud

I could hear pitter-patter of rain out.

It was unexpected dream..

Still a memorable and nice dream...

Without your Love...

I've given away my heart
So it could be torn into pieces..
She left me with the feelings of
Betrayal and being forgotten.
I'm so in love, yet so alone, with some
days thrown away.

Feeling her absence hurts the most
My constant Urge to call is almost
taking over, while on the other side,
my cycle of feelings starts with rage.
Slowing going into sadness, rage again,
desperation, devastation, and finally denial.

Every morning I open my eyes to
emptiness.
Seeing a long black hallway with nothing
in between.
This so-called love has taken over my
life being me distracted.

Days pass by and now my emotions are
going crazy.
Leaving me no choice but to vomit.
To empty my pessimistic thoughts.
To stop thinking my life is over.
To stop my tears every night from falling.
To stop feeling like my heart has
shattered into fifty pieces.

The hardest part of moving on is the
jealosy on top of all my misery.
But soon enough I'll go to bed
realizing I survived this struggle.
I need to escape my depression to
continue breathing.
And regain my strength to live again.

Still Life Goes on..

You are in joy in midst of frens and family..
and I am here wondering in agony..
all those happy days are gone..
But still the life goes on..

So many things to do..
and all this being without you..
I haven't imagined you will ever turn..
But still the life goes on..

Struggling to overcome every dead past..
trying to forget all those care and trust..
living empty with my heart burn..
But still the life goes on..

I have forgotten to smile..
still I have to travel many miles..
I have lost my way 'coz I am alone..
But still the life goes on..
Still the life goes on..

I Have a Dream..

I have a dream to see you smiling..
in every untrodden ways of you travelling..

I have a dream to see you always happy..
May you never know the meaning of being "lonely"

I have dream to dream about you..
and to remain in your heart so kind and true..

I have a dream to long last this love..
Which is raw, unseen and untouched..

I have a dream to close my eyes forever
wishing you happy wherever you are..

Away with You...

I am wild here..
struggling with every new fear
hanging around with joying mates,
in the meadow of all around hates..
still the life goes on..
missing you all along..
am I so crazy or mad?
better to tell a hell bad
but still I have a true heart
and though me all apart,
I still dwell with you
away with you in my world new..

Loving You..

Beyond the barriers of sorrow
In the dream of beautiful tomorrow
Begging you all the love and care
Everlasting and the one forever
Kinda, soft, gentle and fair
Till the end of horizon and eternity
Hoping to get all your sensitivity
All the untrodden ways of life
Promising to hold ur hand though me in strife
Among the beautiful mountains in paradise...

Miss you so much

The countless sweet words..
Vanished with the brutality of lords,
And I lost the warm sunny rays
As I miss you so much.. for you have gone away..


Whenever I try to smile..
have to think for a while,
And When I judge, "It's a beautiful day"..
I miss you so much.. for you have gone away..


In the shivering cold of January...
I felt my life itself in misery,
Even if it's the month of warm May
I miss you so much.. for you have gone away..
I miss you so much.. for you have gone away..

Unfolded wish.. Is this love??

It was little rainy morning, Aryan wake up late to start a brand new day. He was trying to be lost himself in the mess n crowd of Kathmandu. He had lived his life in evey aspects a teenager live. He has no aim till today. He had never thought his life in a planned way. Watever comes in his mind that's his life. As usual he ate his lunch and came to his uncle's cyber which is the best means of passing his time these days. It seems he hasn't got any problems in his life. A smile is always in his every deeds n words.

He was chatting with a friend when a call was there for him. He recieved the call, it was from a school requesting him to teach English there.

"Is it really mean to happen in my life", He asked himself. "Let's give a try, one more way of experiencing life", murmured himself and waved his hand for byee to his uncle. Millions of thought aroused in his mind. Am I perfect for a teacher?? But his mind told him to accept it and experience a total new life. He knows very well that Teachers are the icons of their student and his hand will be full of many childrens future.

Oh! My God, will I be able to handle the responsibility. I have never experienced responsibility of anything. "Stop Aryan Stop, you are never going to do this", his heart told him. But as his nature, he continued his steps towards the school.

He reached the gate, It was locked from inside, but a beautiful face was there and he asked for excuse.

She opened the gate and told him to wait till the principle calls him. It was not more than 5 minutes, he is called inside.

Uh.. There I am.. haha... a smile in his face.

Long hair.. slender body in a punk jeans and t-shirt.. principle looked in a surprise.. May be he was thinking is this the guy I call for teaching.

"Hello sir, I am Aryan, a while ago somebody called me here to teach English", He introduced himself. " Oh, ya, Please have a sit", Principle responded.

They discussed for some minutes and now Aryan has to take class tomorrow. May be a beginning of new life. Obviously exciting to him as his habit. He came out. That beautiful face was in its chair may be doing her work. His heart told to introduce himself but alas her beauty made him nervous and for the first time He didn't find any word to speak. He felt little strange in himself. But didn't speak a word and he went away.

He has already started to teach. The students are quite happy with him. He was also enjoying this new life. Playing with students, sometimes scolding them ( it was his duty ).. but he never behaved rude with the students.. always smiling.. students used to enjoy his classes very much. Sometime telling stories to the students.. sometime making laugh with them. It's his style of living a life and accordingly his students liked him. Now the beautiful face is no longer a stranger to him. She talks to him.. make fun of him.. sometime scolding too.. now they are friends..

He jokes with her often... sometime they don't speak with each other but they could see clearly in their eyes how they miss each other.. days are going n being past..

It was already 3 months he started teaching.. the beautiful face which can't be described in words has so meaning to his life... He slowly started to fall for her... He himself doesn't know it's just an attraction or wat...?? But he knew it's his inner feelings..

"Aryan sir, Please teach me how to use computer", Angila shouted at him.

Angila, yest it was her name the one with the beautiful face.. well built physical body.. perfect from every angle.. he looked at her n said okey. He said, " catch the monitor and shake it as u like, aren't you using it.. do that also i have to teach you." laughter in the room. She looked even more beautiful in her smile. Aryan was lost somewhere in her smile.

She used to care him... it seems she also loves him... Aryan, leave him, he hasn't imagine life without her... He could hardly believe how life has changed... He hasn't thought his life will b this way... he will also love someone so seriously..

Days do not be always same.. Time changes everything with it.. Aryan tried to make her understand that he truly loves her.. but don't know wat Angila thought She started avoiding him... Aryan thought it would be good for her if he left her... He started to live himself alone...

Suddenly one day Aryan was lost and he can't be seen anywhere... He was not that silent boy.... everybody wondered where he might have gone.. his students missed him so much.. his colleagues missed his deeds n words... even Angila felt she's missing him more than before.. but now he has gone somewhere.. who knows wher he is..

It was already 15 years past and now everyone's has forgotten Aryan... People hardly talk about him.. most of them thought he has died..

It was beautiful sunday mn'g, "Mamma... Mamma... look Mr. Aryan is coming in our school. He is such a struggling and great businessman.. he's my idle", Aditi told her mom showing newspaper. Aaditi just turned 13, daughter of Angila, reading in grade seven, was very beautiful n intelligent child. She was very much like her mom.

Angila was surprised because it was Aryan whom she used to know someday, with whom she has so much fun, some part of her life, a different bond of relation, the one who walked away without telling her one word, the one whom she cared so muc, Her eyes filled with tears. She told herself, "This is what I want to see you Aryan, You are my hero." Then, she Silently cleaned her eyes and smiled.

Bad Dream

I was travelling untrodden ways,
And the tough undiscovered himalays,
With all the courage..
in the bright hot sunny days,
Those scary dark forests,
Being sad and the loneliest
But,
An angel appeared to me
such beauty which can never be,
She gave me a hand..
to take me to my land,
with gentle kiss and soft touch..
I was overjoyed so much..
suddenly,
I heard a sharp scream...
And It was just my dream,
That angel, that kiss
It was just my dream..
It was just my dream..

My memories of my angel..

You are the very air that I breathe, the very love that I need, my heart, my soul, my everything. The sweetest of my memories come when I think of you. I remember the very first day that I saw you, I could not believe I was looking at a human being. I pinched myself the hardest one could ever do so as to wake myself up from the drunken stupor I was in. For a moment I believed I was in heaven; I even danced to the music the angels were singing. Upon opening my eyes I realized I was not in heaven but that an angel had come down to earth, just for me.

The music of your voice surpasses that of the greatest orchestra belting out its very best composition. Your skin is softer than the finest satin and glows radiantly illuminating like the sun, setting over a serene pool of crystal clear water. Your eyes dance like mermaids in the sunshine, promulgating the exotic beauty from within your innermost being. Words alone limit me to explaining exactly how I feel about you.

I can say you are the sole comforter to me, the only one who ever took the pain to understand me. You dry every tear that falls down my cheeks. Loving you is the best thing that ever happened to me and I will forever cherish the moments we have spent together.

Every night I dream of heaven, and I'd gotten used to the idea that they are looking for an angel, one that went missing the day you stepped into my life, the day all my sorrows were washed away and I took a step into the impossible, crossing the margin from natural to supernatural. You are my angel and forever you will be. The one whose memories I will treasure forever till the day I turn into an angel like you.

Congratulation Dear!!!

Congratulation Dear..
You left me alone
And I am still Searching You..
in the same place
Wher we used to dwell


Congratulation Dear
You walked away so easily
And I couldn't catch you up
So, I lost my way..
And you are in enjoy


Congratulation Dear...
You took my happiness
And gifted me all these tears
Now, I am all alone
And my heart nothing more than a stone.

My Angel

Darkness has covered the environment and seems as it is never going to be a day again.. I am in my room remembering all those pasts of my life.. evaluating my life myself.. A smile appeared in my face in that darkness but nobody could see and it has no value. It's always a different kind of happiness, a different joy inside me.. a different feeling in my heart when I remember my angel.. It's an untold story of myself.. It's incomplete n i know it has no end but still the few moments of togetherness make me laugh alon.. make me smile in the darkness. "Oh! Why I think that can't be happen " asked my mind.. and my heart replied, "Some false hope makes u happy n it's not your fault to keep those false hopes".

"It's just a dream which will spoil ur career.." my mind argued. " The career without happiness is just nothing more than a living with dead body", explained my heart. I have always debate of my mind n heart but none of it has ever won.. they are equal n strong enough in their own statements... She is like that.. Her eyes which i can't even desribe but I have seen a dream n now which she has closed and my dream scattered... Her smile the best happenings in my world which i always wants before my eyes.. but it's now somewhere far from me.. still the imagination rocks in my mind as if I m with her.. Though We are millions miles apart still she has strong appearance in my heart as she used to be... Her every soft touch.. Her tender presence.. Her every voice are generating like a reel in my mind.. I can feel her touch though she isn't with me.. I can hear her voice echoed in this dead night.. and I feel so comfortable, so happy, so vivid... I know some relations on earth doesn't long last but the moments remains always forever...

"My Angel".. This is the word which I have given her.. I don't know why I liked the word "Angel" best describes her.. In my childhood when my grandpa used to tell the story of angels I used to dream I will meet such angel oneday N I will never let her go away.. My grandpa used to tell those who are good and polite.. sincere n lovable.. honest and have good sense of humour.. they willl only get angel... I thought I got My angel.. yeah I got her but she wasn't mean to be mine.. May be I have seen her in dream... She came into my life but not being mine.. Alas forgive me grandpa I was not that good so My Angel went away... I was not enough honest so My Angel went away... I was not lovable so My Angel went away...

But "Angel" You will always remain so close to my heart running in my mind everytime.. My Angel... May be it's perfect you n am not.. but I have right to love u always forever.. N I will be loving you always forever...

"Life" Wat is it ...... Nice chating with my friend in Nepal

Just woke up today at 5:30 in the morning to start a brand new day... Yesterday's whisky is giving little dizziness to the body.. It was My friend's B'day party and we enjoyed a lot last night.. I don't feel home sick when I meet my friends and wow Beers and whiskies have always become my fantasy to get exciting meetings.. after having bath and some sip of tea I am ready to go for my work... I thought myself "Rome wasn't built in 9 days" it's true.. If we could work from this very morning in our country itself n as honestly as we do here.. development isn't far.. development is the reward for sincerity, honesty and hard work...

After wishing everyone's a good morning I sat in my chair to begin the whole day.. as it is my habit to take a cup of coffee and read some newspaper on internet to get myself updated about the news of My country Nepal then only I start my work.... The news as always the same.. unconditional political situation.. Politics is the key factor in development of any nation.. but the leaders currently in Nepal might not have known what is a good politics and how it affects every corner of the nation... It's very far to see the new rays of good days in Nepal as it is going now.. But Hope is what we could do as always have been doing..

"Hii"... jenny came in my chatbox.. I really do feel nice to talk to her.. I gestured her too with a hii... She has so nice and understanding heart and looks physically gorgeous too.. There used to be always fun when we used to meet... obviously it hurts me when I miss all those memories with my friends.. here in that point I think life as a mysterious travelling towards a mysetrious destiny... many people come in between the variation of time... n they got down with their destiny and remains as a nice part of our life.. back to realization.. We talked about our life's.. she has always a different vision of life.. always wants to see me happy.. n I don't hesitate to tell She has really cute smile.. n she says thnx..

But today we laughed and shared many funny things... Obviously I felt really very happy talking with her today.. Now I think I have really learned how to get happiness with so small act of life... that's wat I define My life's beautiful and I really love it.. Living a life more is nothing compared to living a life in its full meaning.. anyways cheers n beers to all I wished myself n thanked her for a nice happy chat..

My First Blog.. Starting my life in a happy way..

Wednesday, 10 Sept. 2008

It's around 4 o'clock in the evening.. I can guess a tremendous hit outside... just like seven suns are showing their power.. but I am in my desk in 26 degree tempreture relaxing myself to start a new blog.. new world of blogging.. It had been a couple of weeks that I have planned to start something new but Some circumstances and chances didn't meet..

I felt some strokes of earthquake few minutes before I was starting this blog.. I wondered was it really a earthquake or I am just feeling the land is trembling ?? But it was really a earthquake a friend told me after reading the updated news.. It was little scary feelings with enjoy in it.. Sometime we enjoy adventure in it's own way without knowing it.. but started to feel scared after we know it was a scary event.. I want to feel the nature.. the every aspects of the nature.. good and bad both..

During my 22 years of life I have lived my life in many ways.. sometimes with full stupidity while sometime making intelligent decisions... sometime in loneliness and sometime in between a crowd of my family and friends.. but I have never found a particular definition to give "life" a meaning.. Still it is goin on.. however it is I must say I love my life and It's beautiful..