Sunday, September 6, 2009

Back after long time...

It's been quite long time that I haven't even opened my blogs. I don't know What is happening with me and my life since few months. My mind is full of some negative attitude, I haven't felt like this before. I even don't know what is making me all this. I have never been depressed or felt like that, but now-a-days I feel myself in misery and disturbed.

Probably this is life, I have been living like a hell... not even a single call to my friends.. even I didn't make frequent call in home. It seems as if I have forgotten everything. I was just in dilemma of my mind. I know I have lots of responsibilities to carry on... I have lots of dreams to fulfil but I am not getting a way to single one of it.
But I promised myself to be honest to myself... not to judge things happening negatively. Because I know, in order to travel million miles of my life I have to start a single step first. Now, I have decided everything will be fine. I will just try my best to make it out happen. Thanks to Robert sir for making me remember I have my blog where I can keep my words. I am thinking of writing down a novel and I was just thinking always.. But I will start it from today.
Cheers to everyone who knows me.. Yeah I am back now.. with my happy face..

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Influenced by "Rang De Basanti"

Suddenly, I remebered the days some years before when I was in Nepal. The political situation of Nepal at that time was very unconditional. Political Parties were on strieke of the then government directly ruled by King. Situations were being more critical and in the mean time "Rang De Basanti" produced n acted by Aamir Khan was released in Bollywood. As far I know Nepal is one of the good market for Bollywood Film Industries.

"Rang De Basanti" was released in such time when the political situation of Nepal was like as shown in the Film. Actors of the film were like youngsters of Nepal. If you have to change the society, you must start within yourself.

It was around 12 o'clock in the mid-night when me and my friend finished the movie and we were in our bed. Suddenly, Roshan asked, "Bibek, are you asleep?", I answered," No, I am not".
Lets go and kill Kamal Thapa ( Home Minister of that time ). I was surprised and laughed at him. He told the movie is really meaningful. Let's be Dj (aamir khan ) of that movie who really taught the meaning of struggle. Oh my god ! He is really influenced by the movie and the movie worth it.Then, I believed yup the movies really influence people and resemble our practical life.

Thanks to Aamir Khan for making such a influencing movie.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

My Strange Dream last night..

It is said,
Dreams are reflection of what we think,
But yesterday night's dream it was strange.
I was on a high stage,
and me delighted n praised..
Thousand of people were listening me
Some were sitting, some standing and some on their knee
A speech, I was giving
And it was about Global Warming.
I defined them what is it and what it has?
told them caused due to increment in "Anthropogenic Greenhouse Gas"
Sea levels increasing day by day
We, ourself are doing delay..
To save our earth and our life
And to continue our generations alive.
Suddenly, My mobile rang aloud
I could hear pitter-patter of rain out.
It was unexpected dream..
Still a memorable and nice dream...

Friday, October 17, 2008

Without your Love...

I've given away my heart
So it could be torn into pieces..
She left me with the feelings of
Betrayal and being forgotten.
I'm so in love, yet so alone, with some
days thrown away.

Feeling her absence hurts the most
My constant Urge to call is almost
taking over, while on the other side,
my cycle of feelings starts with rage.
Slowing going into sadness, rage again,
desperation, devastation, and finally denial.

Every morning I open my eyes to
emptiness.
Seeing a long black hallway with nothing
in between.
This so-called love has taken over my
life being me distracted.

Days pass by and now my emotions are
going crazy.
Leaving me no choice but to vomit.
To empty my pessimistic thoughts.
To stop thinking my life is over.
To stop my tears every night from falling.
To stop feeling like my heart has
shattered into fifty pieces.

The hardest part of moving on is the
jealosy on top of all my misery.
But soon enough I'll go to bed
realizing I survived this struggle.
I need to escape my depression to
continue breathing.
And regain my strength to live again.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Still Life Goes on..

You are in joy in midst of frens and family..
and I am here wondering in agony..
all those happy days are gone..
But still the life goes on..

So many things to do..
and all this being without you..
I haven't imagined you will ever turn..
But still the life goes on..

Struggling to overcome every dead past..
trying to forget all those care and trust..
living empty with my heart burn..
But still the life goes on..

I have forgotten to smile..
still I have to travel many miles..
I have lost my way 'coz I am alone..
But still the life goes on..
Still the life goes on..

I Have a Dream..

I have a dream to see you smiling..
in every untrodden ways of you travelling..

I have a dream to see you always happy..
May you never know the meaning of being "lonely"

I have dream to dream about you..
and to remain in your heart so kind and true..

I have a dream to long last this love..
Which is raw, unseen and untouched..

I have a dream to close my eyes forever
wishing you happy wherever you are..

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Away with You...

I am wild here..
struggling with every new fear
hanging around with joying mates,
in the meadow of all around hates..
still the life goes on..
missing you all along..
am I so crazy or mad?
better to tell a hell bad
but still I have a true heart
and though me all apart,
I still dwell with you
away with you in my world new..

Loving You..

Beyond the barriers of sorrow
In the dream of beautiful tomorrow
Begging you all the love and care
Everlasting and the one forever
Kinda, soft, gentle and fair
Till the end of horizon and eternity
Hoping to get all your sensitivity
All the untrodden ways of life
Promising to hold ur hand though me in strife
Among the beautiful mountains in paradise...

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Miss you so much

The countless sweet words..
Vanished with the brutality of lords,
And I lost the warm sunny rays
As I miss you so much.. for you have gone away..


Whenever I try to smile..
have to think for a while,
And When I judge, "It's a beautiful day"..
I miss you so much.. for you have gone away..


In the shivering cold of January...
I felt my life itself in misery,
Even if it's the month of warm May
I miss you so much.. for you have gone away..
I miss you so much.. for you have gone away..

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Unfolded wish.. Is this love??

It was little rainy morning, Aryan wake up late to start a brand new day. He was trying to be lost himself in the mess n crowd of Kathmandu. He had lived his life in evey aspects a teenager live. He has no aim till today. He had never thought his life in a planned way. Watever comes in his mind that's his life. As usual he ate his lunch and came to his uncle's cyber which is the best means of passing his time these days. It seems he hasn't got any problems in his life. A smile is always in his every deeds n words.


He was chatting with a friend when a call was there for him. He recieved the call, it was from a school requesting him to teach English there.


"Is it really mean to happen in my life", He asked himself. "Let's give a try, one more way of experiencing life", murmured himself and waved his hand for byee to his uncle. Millions of thought aroused in his mind. Am I perfect for a teacher?? But his mind told him to accept it and experience a total new life. He knows very well that Teachers are the icons of their student and his hand will be full of many childrens future.


Oh! My God, will I be able to handle the responsibility. I have never experienced responsibility of anything. "Stop Aryan Stop, you are never going to do this", his heart told him. But as his nature, he continued his steps towards the school.


He reached the gate, It was locked from inside, but a beautiful face was there and he asked for excuse.


She opened the gate and told him to wait till the principle calls him. It was not more than 5 minutes, he is called inside.


Uh.. There I am.. haha... a smile in his face.


Long hair.. slender body in a punk jeans and t-shirt.. principle looked in a surprise.. May be he was thinking is this the guy I call for teaching.


"Hello sir, I am Aryan, a while ago somebody called me here to teach English", He introduced himself. " Oh, ya, Please have a sit", Principle responded.


They discussed for some minutes and now Aryan has to take class tomorrow. May be a beginning of new life. Obviously exciting to him as his habit. He came out. That beautiful face was in its chair may be doing her work. His heart told to introduce himself but alas her beauty made him nervous and for the first time He didn't find any word to speak. He felt little strange in himself. But didn't speak a word and he went away.


He has already started to teach. The students are quite happy with him. He was also enjoying this new life. Playing with students, sometimes scolding them ( it was his duty ).. but he never behaved rude with the students.. always smiling.. students used to enjoy his classes very much. Sometime telling stories to the students.. sometime making laugh with them. It's his style of living a life and accordingly his students liked him. Now the beautiful face is no longer a stranger to him. She talks to him.. make fun of him.. sometime scolding too.. now they are friends..


He jokes with her often... sometime they don't speak with each other but they could see clearly in their eyes how they miss each other.. days are going n being past..


It was already 3 months he started teaching.. the beautiful face which can't be described in words has so meaning to his life... He slowly started to fall for her... He himself doesn't know it's just an attraction or wat...?? But he knew it's his inner feelings..


"Aryan sir, Please teach me how to use computer", Angila shouted at him.


Angila, yest it was her name the one with the beautiful face.. well built physical body.. perfect from every angle.. he looked at her n said okey. He said, " catch the monitor and shake it as u like, aren't you using it.. do that also i have to teach you." laughter in the room. She looked even more beautiful in her smile. Aryan was lost somewhere in her smile.


She used to care him... it seems she also loves him... Aryan, leave him, he hasn't imagine life without her... He could hardly believe how life has changed... He hasn't thought his life will b this way... he will also love someone so seriously..


Days do not be always same.. Time changes everything with it.. Aryan tried to make her understand that he truly loves her.. but don't know wat Angila thought She started avoiding him... Aryan thought it would be good for her if he left her... He started to live himself alone...


Suddenly one day Aryan was lost and he can't be seen anywhere... He was not that silent boy.... everybody wondered where he might have gone.. his students missed him so much.. his colleagues missed his deeds n words... even Angila felt she's missing him more than before.. but now he has gone somewhere.. who knows wher he is..


It was already 15 years past and now everyone's has forgotten Aryan... People hardly talk about him.. most of them thought he has died..


It was beautiful sunday mn'g, "Mamma... Mamma... look Mr. Aryan is coming in our school. He is such a struggling and great businessman.. he's my idle", Aditi told her mom showing newspaper. Aaditi just turned 13, daughter of Angila, reading in grade seven, was very beautiful n intelligent child. She was very much like her mom.


Angila was surprised because it was Aryan whom she used to know someday, with whom she has so much fun, some part of her life, a different bond of relation, the one who walked away without telling her one word, the one whom she cared so muc, Her eyes filled with tears. She told herself, "This is what I want to see you Aryan, You are my hero." Then, she Silently cleaned her eyes and smiled.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Bad Dream

I was travelling untrodden ways,
And the tough undiscovered himalays,
With all the courage..
in the bright hot sunny days,
Those scary dark forests,
Being sad and the loneliest
But,
An angel appeared to me
such beauty which can never be,
She gave me a hand..
to take me to my land,
with gentle kiss and soft touch..
I was overjoyed so much..
suddenly,
I heard a sharp scream...
And It was just my dream,
That angel, that kiss
It was just my dream..
It was just my dream..